Tag Archive for: lovers

Is Love’s Bewildering Bewitchment Irresistible »

Is Love's Bewildering Bewitchment Irresistible

In today’s fast paced society, it is ironical to find that while the rate of people getting married is drastically falling (59 percent – down from 62 percent in 1990, 72 percent in 1970), the rate of divorce is instead on the rise (10 percent – up from 8 percent in 1990, 6 percent in 1980).

What could be the cause of this societal ill that is wrecking the very fabric of our family and communal existence? A simple truth would be that when the love that any union is founded upon gives way to distrust, arguments and constant bickering, the ultimately end is an inevitable breakup or divorce. …Continue Reading »

How Personal Happiness Opens Your Heart to Finding True Love »

Personal Happiness Opens Your Heart - Happy Couple smiling at each other in colorful garden

Loving who you are and finding true personal happiness is the first step to falling in love and finding true love. However a lot of people tend to focus on their partner as the source of their happiness and blame them as being the cause of their dissatisfaction and disharmony in life.

Personal happiness is a factor we cannot ignore in our pursuit of true love. You are who your thoughts are and love cannot co-exist where there is unhappiness.

One characteristics possessed by those who find fulfilling partnerships and have happy relationships is that they tend to have deliberately prepared themselves for love prior to meeting their spouse.

To create a happy you awaiting love’s arrival, it is important to make a paradigm shift from your old thinking. If you want your relationship to grow, it is important to first take a look at your relationship with yourself.

Are you happy personally? Do you love yourself, and how highly do you esteem yourself?

Most people enter into relationships with some old ideas and fears such as “I’m not good enough”, “I’m unattractive”, “too fat”, “he/she is going to be unfaithful to me” or other such fearful stuffs from the past failed relationships. These altogether limits their potentials for success in their new relationship.

Love and Personal Happiness - Happy young lady in sunglass on a bridge with hands pointing two fingers

An issue that needs to be tackled here is how the mind works because we are basically a function of the state of our minds. Our minds operate by extrapolating from our past.

It suggests our possible futures in a given circumstance based on what is already known. It sees what it is expecting to see and mostly overlooks what is really there.

  • If you do not like yourself, then who is going to find you attractive enough to want to enter into a relationship with you? Logically speaking, anyone who finds you attractive in this state must to some degree be deficient somehow or probably just has bad taste and judgment.

    If you are condescending on yourself, you’re bound to equally transfer this to your partner and relationship.

    Basically, we do not want people who are desperate or under pressure to find a partner and so we should equally do our best to move out of this state of mind. We need to become open and realize that we are the makers of our own happiness and not the external factors around us.

    It is therefore best to avoid those people who intend to make you responsible for their happiness. The best way to true relationship happiness is to understand a mate’s needs and making the fulfillment of those needs your goal.

    Personal happiness and finding true love - Happy African-American couple sitting on a park bench

    If you have been operating from any false belief about yourself, your true potential for happiness and finding true love, or if certain challenges had complicated your earlier love life, do not despair for an instant that you cannot change these patterns and have a truly loving and happy relationship.

    What we need to do is look at all those old beliefs and start perceiving them differently in order to get back on track to a happier life ready for true love’s arrival. It is a mental choice that has to be made by not bringing your past into your present relationship.

    By being aware of who you really are and of what you want in a mutually fulfilling relationship, it is possible to melt the barriers to happiness, fulfillment and satisfaction. When we embrace our own qualities and feel connected with others and with life, we will discover this kind of deep happiness.

    There is therefore every possibility to your experiencing true love and happiness in all aspects of your life, including your romantic relationships, with family and friends, and very much with yourself.

    Fantasize about your being happy and put all necessary machinery into action to bring happiness into your life and before long, who knows, love might just come knocking.

    The Art of Giving and Accepting Sincere Apologies »

    Giving and Accepting Sincere Apologies

    In its most basic expression – a simple, yet sincere apology satisfies many situations. No matter how effective your communication skills, how sensitive you may be, or how compatible or in love you might be with your spouse, sooner or later you are bound to do something that will either hurt or embarrass your partner. How then do you know when you have wronged your partner and to sincerely apologize? …Continue Reading »

    Do Women Really Love More Than Men »

    Do Women Really Love More Than Men

    Men are often made to look like they are the unromantic ones in most relationships and less romantic than women in general. At first glance, a good majority will unflinchingly say that women are the more romantic. However when it comes to the truly deep and important definition of romance, the opposite is often the case.

    First point of consideration is that when it comes to falling in love, even at first sight, men are at the top of the ladder. Men generally fall in love faster than women and by the fourth date, statistics show that about 20 per cent of men would have fallen in love with a partner they are interested in.

    On the contrary, 43 per cent of women still were not sure if they were in love by even the twentieth date compared to about 30 percent of men. Unlike men when entering into relationships, women are the more cautious about getting committed.

    On the ideals of love, men are definitely more idealistic about the concept of love than a lot of women. According to a study in the book “The Incidence of Romanticism During Courtship” by C. W. Hobart, men were found to have more of an idealistic than practical view of love. Men are apt to believe that as long as there is true love between two people, they should be about just OK together.

  • When it comes to the issue of breakups, a study of 231 Boston couples by a group of Harvard University scientists found out that women were often the ones who suggested the separation.

    And as if that was not enough, the poor guys are still the ones who suffer more after a breakup happens. Men showed far more depression, felt lonelier and less free after the breakup. They were often in a state of disbelief and felt that they could have salvaged the relationship if they had done this or that… all in self-guilt over the failure of the relationship.

    Men generally find it more difficult accepting that a relationship is over and that they were no longer loved and that their spouse was actually out of their life.

    To think of it, women even love their best friends more than their lovers. From a study on “The Nature of Love” by Yale University researchers, it was discovered that men love their lovers more when compared to others in their life. They liked and loved their lovers far more than their best friends.

    Women were instead found to love their lovers and best friend almost equally with many of them liking their best friend more than their lovers.

    How to Tell If You Are in Love »

    How to Tell If You Are in Love

    This is perhaps the biggest question that can be asked in a relationship. And for sure, for the larger population, this is not an easy one to just give a yes or no answer. What is it that really gives you the assurance that you are truly in love? …Continue Reading »

    14 Qualities of a Good Girlfriend »

    14 Qualities of a Good Girlfriend

    Somehow, there must be some sort of traits that attract most men to their female partners. Obvious qualities of a good girlfriend that they find alluring and exciting enough to make them want to possess her and be her man.

    Some fortunate women have learned how to be irresistible to a man by understanding the good girlfriend qualities he wants and giving it to him.

    While physical attraction is important, she understands it isn’t everything. So, she knows she doesn’t have to be the most beautiful lady at the party to get any man’s attention.

    She understands that most men want some good girlfriend qualities that are more than just her having a pretty face. As a result, she’s developed these good girlfriend qualities about her personality that men can’t simply resist.

    So how does a girl know for sure when she becomes the adorable type that guys would go crazy over. What qualities of a good girlfriend does she need to develop to become a candidate for a crazy-for-you, toe-curling relationship?

    Surprisingly enough, a lot of ladies already possess some of these good girlfriend traits. They simply are not yet conscious of them and don’t know how to use them to their advantage.

    Good Girlfriend Qualities Men Desire


    As we progress, it’s important to realize that most guys will have their own tastes and preferences when choosing a partner.

    Yet, it’s an established fact that pretty much every guy is looking for the same fundamental good girlfriend qualities in a lady.

    What most men want from a potential partner is a lady who will add value to their life. A lady who they believe have what it takes to make the relationship work.

    The following good girlfriend traits are what guys really want in a girlfriend. They are what will spark a deep attraction in a man and make a lady truly irresistible to him.

    Simply put, when you give a man what he wants, you’ll have him eating out of the palms of your hands in no time.

    1. She Has a Life of Her Own

    Characteristics of a Good Girlfriend - Confident Young Lady on Smile With Phone

    Men crave after a lady who takes care of herself and pays attention to her personal lifestyle. A kind of lady that still finds time to spend with her friends and family.

    Men generally love a lady that is active and outgoing, a lady who does her things, her best way. She’s the kind of lady who loves adventures and indulges herself in life’s little pleasures.

    This is not the type of lady who is sitting around waiting for some dude to come and sweep her off her feet and get her “real life” started.

    What men really desire is a lady who is not waiting for a man that will become her entire existence. Men rather want a lady who is craving for a partner who she can complement.

    Thus, men don’t like desperate, clingy, co-dependent, or jealous ladies. Instead, today’s men are actively searching for women who are self-sufficient.

    They desire women who are hardworking and who can contribute to the relationship on many levels – financially, socially, and physically.

    While the innate desire to be providers for their families remains, today’s men are seeking women who can add to the team. They are looking out for women with whom they can make important life decisions with without feeling pressured.

    Thus, it’s really encouraging for most guys when a lady is independent enough to keep herself occupied with her own interests yet be able to function as a team player.

    2. Sexy but Not Trampy

    Her sexual appeal does not necessarily have to be like that of Halle Berry, yet she remains confident in her own skin. At different stages of the relationship, she takes the game to another level while maintaining her disarming sexuality.

    At the beginning, while getting to understand her man, she refrains from making overtly sexual comments and suggestions. She flirts with him through non-sexual contact like placing her hand on his forearm.

    As the relationship gets more serious and intimate, she becomes more comfortable and confident in discussing issues about sex openly. He sexuality is now extended to sexual touches and public display of her affection.

    When true intimacy has developed in the relationship, she switches things up in the bedroom. She often initiates sex and tries to do things differently every now and then.

    In general, men are looking for women who truly enjoy sex and who are willing to do and try new things. While not obliging to his every demand, she knows how to clearly communicate her desires and limits to her man.

    3. Knows Her Place

    Good Girlfriend Qualities Men Want - Happy Hugging Couple

    Many today are of the view that the dating dynamics have changed. There are lots of vehement arguments today that it’s OK for a lady to make the first move if she is interested in a guy.

    Yet, nature itself and our psychological evolution repeals this developing trend.

    A woman should know her place in the hierarchy of life – at least in the dating game – that the man does the chasing.

    Why would she want to take away the fun part of the dating game – the part guys relish the most? Men are simply more programmed for the chase than to be chased.

    Instead a lady should suggest and wait for the man to initiate and plan dates. At least, this status quo can be maintained till when the relationship has taken on some solid form or a level of commitment.

    Even when a lady wants a guy very much, she should still let him work for it.

    There is simply no thrill in the chase when a lady goes all out to initiate things in a new relationship.

    A lady who can keep the hunt going – by keeping a man guessing and thinking – will always excite his brain. This is a great way to trigger his “hero instinct.”

    Thus, understanding the intricacies of how to make a guy chase you can work wonders for any lady.

  • Of course, this issue has been debated to death without reaching any consensus. Yet, there are certain natural laws that we’ll never be able to change no matter how enlightened and sophisticated our society becomes. Well, at least until a man starts carrying a nine-month pregnancy.

    4. Avoids Putting Pressure on Her Man

    Traits of a Good Girlfriend - Charming Young Couple Hugging

    Men have a very distinct aversion to any form of pressure. This can be either work or relationship pressure and generally want their space.

    In general, men love women who don’t bug them down with incessant phone calls, text messages, or emails. Thus, they don’t like women who are fond of checking up on them – through whatever means – every now and then.

    A lady who wants to win a man’s heart should be aware of how much men dread the M-word – marriage. So, she should also be aware that men loath constant reminders of what the future of them together looks like.

    Thus, while it’s okay to want some attention from her man, a lady should avoid taking it too far by wanting to know his whereabout all the time.

    Another way a lady can put unnecessary pressure on her man is by relying on him for her happiness. This is a position no guy wants to be in as it puts just too much pressure on him.

    A woman that really wants to win her man over knows that it’s better to just enjoy the relationship than to be constantly checking the pulse of it.

    5. Waits to Have Sex

    Qualities of a Good Girlfriend to Marry - Beautiful Young Lady in Bed Alone

    Sexual revolution and feminism have been around for a while and few people there be that expect a pure white bride today.

    However, despite being true to her sexuality, a lady should understand that sex still remains a very dicey part of any new relationship.

    Engaging in sex too early into a new relationship has the potential to change the entire dynamics of the game.

    A lady giving in quickly to sex might be exciting while creating some extra warm feelings. However, it can also make her feel fuzzy and irrational.

    Thus, she might end up making too much of a relationship that hardly exist outside the bedroom.

    Also, when choosing long-term partners, men don’t usually go after women who put out too soon. They quickly lose interest in pursuing such ladies as they consider them to have little self-respect.

    Thus, a lady needs to know when the signals are right and never to jump in too early.

    6. Caring and Supportive

    A woman makes her man feel endeared to her when she does little things for him that makes him realize how much she cares about him. While paying attention to his personal needs, she also appreciates his reciprocal gestures.

    As a partnership, a man wants to know that he has a woman besides him who backs his aspirations in life. Also, a man generally adores a woman who listens to him, gives him creative criticism when needed, and motivates him.

    At the same time, a man wants a woman who can support him in his time of needs – when he might be struggling or facing an obstacle. In fact, sometimes, a man needs a shoulder to cry on.

  • Having a supportive and encouraging partner helps a man to not only believe in himself but to also overcome obstacles standing against him. It can also help him to overcome his insecurities and self-doubt to achieve his goals.

    7. She’s Intelligent

    Qualities of a Great Girlfriend - Beautiful Couple Posing Outdoors

    The fact is that men are just as turned on by brains as they are by beauty. Men crave after ladies who are intelligent, strong, and have a mind of their own.

    It is one characteristic that has been steadily climbing on the list of men desires for decades. This is greatly amplified today by the fact that more and more women are receiving College degrees and are now half of the workforce.

    Women who are challenging and stimulating and who can teach new things are the desire of every man. The reason is simple. Men want to be inspired and see the world from a different perspective every once in a while.

    The intelligence in question here is not that of having a Ph.D. in Nuclear Physics or being a Neurosurgeon. It’s rather about the ability to sustain an enjoyable and stimulating conversation with common sense – simply talking to people with common sense.

    We’re talking about having insightful opinions on a wide range of interests as well as on specific topical subjects. This is the kind of lady any man will gladly want to introduce to his friends and family.

    The Duo of Intelligence and Passion

    An intelligent woman will constantly surprise her man and keep him on his toes. This is mostly because intelligence generally comes along with passion.

    A woman can become truly sexy and irresistible when she’s able to display the passion that often comes with intelligence. Complacency and boredom can hardly find its way into such a relationship.

    In the absence of deep and intriguing conversations, most people fill their time together with physical activities. However, it is practically impossible to build a truly deep connection or a lasting relationship with someone based on that alone.

    Having a mental connection with someone through engaging in deep and intellectually stimulating discussions is never a fleeting experience. This is the stuff that can help a lady keep a man longer.

    After all is said and done, when you’re intelligent (a honed quality), you’ll desire, and truly deserve, someone who appreciates that.

    Today, more than ever before, men are looking for women who are accomplished and interesting.

    8. Has Self-Confidence

    Traits Men Look for in a Girlfriend - Stylish Couple Posing Outdoor Hugging

    The greatest attractiveness of a woman lies in her level of self-confidence. Confidence is that special inner something that makes a woman truly irresistible to men. It is that feeling of being secure in your own skin.

    A confident woman knows her own values and qualities and she is happy with that. Armed with the knowledge of who she is, her body and what she wants, a confident lady doesn’t need an external source of validation.

    Knowing what she wants, she has the confidence to go out and get it. Thus, she lets her goals override her uncertainties and charges forward with power instead of reacting to her doubts.

    When a woman has a healthy self-confidence, she does not rely on somebody else – not even her man – to make her feel good. This gives a man the assurance that she’s going to be okay if things ever get tough.

    Most men want a lady who isn’t afraid to say things the way they are even when she might risk offending others. Such confidence can also help her turn any situation into an opportunity and this is something men find very attractive.

    Her self-confidence also makes it easy for a woman to be more emotionally available in her relationships. It also helps to reduce any tendency of her being irrationally jealous, sensitive, or attempting to take advantage of or controlling her man.

    Despite what most people think, men really like being challenged. Being confident and embracing who you are as a woman is one of the top qualities of a good girlfriend that will make you instantly more attractive to men.

    9. Possesses a Positive Mental Attitude

    Qualities of a Good Girlfriend to Marry - Fashionable Couple Looking at Each Other

    Every man wants a lady who will bring joy and happiness into his life and not sadness. In general, men want a lady who is fun and exciting to be around.

    As a result, they generally move in the direction of positive energy and away from negative energy.

    When a lady has an optimistic and can-do attitude, it feels good to be around her because a positive mental attitude can be very contagious. If it’s a negative mental attitude, people don’t normally enjoy her presence.

    So, it is important to create an atmosphere where fun, loving, and positive experiences are the foundation of the relationship.

    At the same time, it’s necessary that you focus on enjoying the moments you are in rather than worrying about the past or the future.

    Maintaining an atmosphere of positivity will greatly help you and your man to feel more satisfied and happier whenever together.

    10. A Good Sense of Humor

    Characters of a Good Girlfriend - Romantic Couple in Winter

    No relationship should be serious all the time. There’s need for the injection of some good humor every once in a while, to spice things up. Generally, laughter is something that brings people together which is what love is all about.

    Usually, both men and women feel attracted to people with a good sense of humor. This is because their presence generally lightens the mood, making the time spent with them more fun and always enjoyable.

    Thus, a woman who has some sense of humor and who can crack some unexpected jokes can help her man open up to the easy-going side of her personality.

    Generally, intelligent men have a sense of humor and as such appreciate a woman with some degree of humor who can laugh at their jokes.

    Men love it and feel happy when a woman’s heart is open to laughter whenever they say or do something to make her laugh.

    While most men might not necessarily be looking for partners who are funny, a woman who can sincerely appreciate her man’s jokes will always be a catch.

    So, laugh more, enjoy life, and have a great time where ever and whenever possible as laughing together never gets old but becomes more exciting, positive, and fun altogether.

    When you do this and show him that you’re happy with him, your future together will be amazing.

    11. She’s Kindhearted

    Good Qualities of a Girlfriend - Sylish Couple Posing in Summer Sunset

    Men prefer a woman who has a kind, caring, and respectful disposition to people around her. They want a woman who can be tough when she needs to be but who has a kind interior.

    A sincere display of kindness is one of those qualities of a good girlfriend that men desire because it is believed to be an outward manifestation of a good heart. It’s also seen as a lack of greed and selfishness – both universally admirable qualities of a good girlfriend.

    A woman’s show of kindness shouldn’t be limited or directed solely to the man of her interest but also towards humanity. Little things, such as being considerate to other people, and even how polite you are to servers, can be huge indicators.

    Kindness is one of the most vital qualities of a good girlfriend because it embodies a lot of other important good girlfriend traits. According to a study, this includes a lady’s ability to interact positively, maintain interest in a long-term relationship, and show empathy in the upbringing of children.

    On a more personal level, a man wants to be able to count on his lady to accept his emotions and provide an open and loving environment whenever he feels sad or low.

    They want a woman who can provide them with a space in which they are permitted to be vulnerable enough to crave emotional intimacy. This can be in the form of assuring him that it’s okay to cry, simply listening to him, or just hugging him closely.

    There will definitely be difficult times in every relationship and at such less than flattering moments, a man wants a woman who can show him kindness and empathize with him.

    12. Has Boundaries and is Down-to-Earth

    Many men prefer a woman who can confidently make her preferences known and doesn’t necessarily have to bend to his every whim. They want a lady who is not afraid to say “no” when something doesn’t feel good as she lives an authentic live.

    Also, she knows what she wants and will not accept bad behavior – not even from her man. Physical or verbal abuses and threats are definitely not negotiable in her relationships.

    Yet, she has realistic expectations and doesn’t expect her man to be perfect. She also doesn’t take herself too seriously and is always understanding.

    13. She’s Passionate

    Good Girlfriend Qualities - Young Couple Hugging in Street

    A woman who has a passionate drive about something possesses a quality that is highly alluring to men. Being passionate about something often goes hand-in-hand with being independent.

    Most people assume that men are intimidated by ambitious women. Yet, most men rank it ahead of other good girlfriend qualities like refinement, having similar religious background, and even being a good cook.

    Thus, men generally consider a woman’s drive, determination, and energy as a very attractive good girlfriend quality to have in a life partner.

    Most men are looking for women who have invested themselves in something other than a good lifestyle. They want passionate women who are willing to take risks if it means personal growth and achieving their goals.

    A passionate woman makes a man feel that she won’t always be needy in the relationship. It also helps him to see her as someone with exciting qualities and one who will have little struggles in accomplishing her dreams.

    Equally, her passion can inspire him and play pivotal roles in helping him achieve his dreams. Both of them can also embark on joint projects they are passionate about.

    When a man sees that a lady has other interests in her life besides the relationship, it helps him to feel at ease. Such passionate flare also makes him want to spend more time in getting to know her hidden virtues better.

    Her positive mental approach to achieving her goals, makes her someone with whom a man can confidently take on the world with. Such a passionate woman is a teammate both in the relationship and life of her man.

  • 14. Conscious of Her Physical Appearance

    Best Girlfriend Qualities - Young Lady Exercising

    While looks may not be everything, the truth is that men will always be visual creatures. When they like what they see about a lady, they’ll pursue her.

    Also, men are not necessarily on the search for ladies who have perfect hourglass figure or who are ridiculously gorgeous as “wife material.”

    Men want a woman who takes good care of herself and her overall appearance by looking after her body and dressing well.

    Then again, it needs to be said that every man has his personal taste about what is attractive in a woman to him.

    A woman who is proud of her appearance will take things such as regular physical exercise and eating a balanced diet very serious. Apart from looking her best, taking pride in her appearance also helps to increase her self-esteem.

    In Conclusion…

    The above are the important qualities of a good girlfriend who will easily attract and rock any man’s world.

    One thing that stands out from most of the points above is that men are more attracted to women who focus on other things than them. This helps to take away undue pressure from them.

    Also, the more positive experiences a woman creates around her and her man through her passionate vibe, kindness, self-confidence, and sexual inquisitiveness, the more attractive she becomes on the whole as a perfect girlfriend material.

    Thus, the passion she is able to develop in her life will go a long way in helping her attract a man who is as passionate as herself.

    Undoubtedly, any woman who is able to develop these qualities of a good girlfriend can easily win over any amazing man. She also has within her the ability to achieve her dreams and to adapt to any situation that comes her way.


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    What is that men find attractive in a potential mate or girlfriend for a serious relationship? Or are you wondering what the real qualities of a good girlfriend that makes her irresistibly attractive to men are? Here are 14 truths about the good girlfriend qualities men want in a lady today.

    Is there really a soul mate for everyone? »

    Two little words. One big concept. A belief that someone, somewhere, is holding the key to your heart and to your dream house. All you have to do is to find them. So where is this person? And if you love someone and it didn’t work out, does that mean they weren’t your soul mate?

    – Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) from “Sex and the City”.

    …Continue Reading »

    What to do if you are in Love but are afraid the feeling isn’t Mutual Love »

    You wonder to yourself, am I the only one feeling this way or does he/she feel just about the same way as I do? You are in a situation where you just can’t help feeling that you are in love with this person but the person seems not to return your love? Does your love have to be mutual before you can say it is love?

    A load of questions you’d say but this is the situation a lot people today find themselves. And believe you me – it can really be a difficult one to get out of with a cool head. …Continue Reading »

    What is the true meaning of love – Is it in your Current Relationship? »

    The primary purpose of being in a relationship is to share love and mutual respect. To truly love someone can better be understood from the point of unconditionally loving that person. True love therefore means caring about someone just the way they are, how they were formerly, and how they will be in the future. …Continue Reading »

    5 Fun Ideas for a Romantic Valentine’s Day »

    5 Fun Ideas for a Romantic Valentine's Day

    Love is certainly a unique sensation. Being in a romantic love can make you feel euphoric and exuberant. You feel like enjoying each and every moment of life to the maximum.

    Valentine’s Day is certainly one such days to keep always keep track of. Being particularly designed for one to proclaim and commemorate one’s love for the beloved. The whole concept is usually to have a great time doing something both of you appreciate together. …Continue Reading »