Last modified on October 13th, 2020
Successful long-term relationships are the product of effective communication between couples. These are made through daily communication involving smalls words, small gestures, and small acts. Good couple conversation topics are thus key to a healthy relationship.
One of the biggest reasons why a lot of relationships fail is due to the lack of effective communication. Thus, couples need to understand how to communicate and better understand each other.
With that said, knowing what to talk about is as important as the talking itself. Therefore what exactly constitutes good couple conversation topics for developing healthy loving relationships?
Types of Couple Conversation Topics
The issue of what to talk about was the focus of a 2008 study published in Psychological Science. The researchers found that the happiest participants spent less time alone and more time talking.
It was also noted that they spent more time having substantive conversations. The results were in clear contrast to the other groups who had less talk time and more small talks.
The researchers concluded that “that happiness can be increased by facilitating substantive conversations.” They further stated that “our findings suggest that people find their lives more worth living when examined ― at least when examined together.”
The caveat here is highlighted by Daniel C. Dennett in Elbow Room: The Varieties of Free Will Worth Wanting. He made a remark about Socrates’ dictum that “the unexamined life is not worth living.” To this he says that “the over examined life is nothing to write home about either.”
However, Dr. John Gottman offers a succinct recommendation for good couple conversation topics. He gave this advice in his book, Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. His suggestion was for couples to have conversations that have “open-ended” questions.
This helps to cut off the yes-or-no answers. Conversing this way thus allows for more substantive intellectual stimulation to your conversation. As a result, you are able to have more meaningful and intimate conversations.
To evolve and grow together as a couple, here are some great conversation tips to try out.
1. Hobbies and Personal Interests
Share your thoughts about your next vacations or weekend getaways. This can be even when they are weeks or months away. Talking about your planned travels can generate a lot of new conversations. Also talk about your personal hobbies and interests. You need to respect each other’s own while finding ways to share the fun together.
2. Your Childhood
Talking about your childhood memories can bring both of you closer. Sharing such memories often provide for hours of fun and hilarious conversations. They can also help your partner know more about what has shaped you as a person. What are the things you liked as a kid? Did you have any fears or got into trouble in school?
3. Your Relationship
It is a good thing to talk about your relationship from time to time. Sincerely compliment your progress and also talk about the difficulties you might be experiencing. Openly discuss any relationship conflict or difficult decisions that might affect the relationship.
4. The Future
This is one topic that can make for a lot of intellectual conversations. This allows both of you to plan ahead in order to avoid getting caught up in any unpleasant surprises. Without too much pressure, openly talk about your future plans for the relationship.
5. Sex Talk
Though often a difficult area of discussion for a lot of couples, it is nonetheless important to discuss your sex life. Try and avoid pushing any bedroom problems aside as that only make things more difficult. While it might not be easy at first, the more you talk about your sexual issues, the easier it becomes. Talk about your sexual fantasies, what positions you like or do not like. Couples who talk about sex generally have more sex. So open up and chat more about your sex life.
6. Embarrassing and Proud Moments
You should not be ashamed to talk about some of those awkward moments in your life. You don’t need to get too serious about them, just make a comedic moment of them. Laugh it off. Also, share those great moments that made you feel proud.
7. Political and Current World Events
Have some healthy debates about the upcoming elections or the recently passed law. Debate on your individual views about current world events and the way they are playing out. While it would certainly help, it is not necessary for both of you to agree on these issues. In healthy relationships, partners discuss their ideologies without fear of being reprimanded. When done with mutual respect, such debates help to keep your mind sharp.
8. Spiritual Belief and Self Growth
Be open in discussing about the similarities and differences of your spiritual beliefs. Also, share with your partner the self-improvements you are experiencing in your life. The intellectual, emotional, and other developments in your life can positively rob off on your partner.
9. Work and Money
The money aspect in a relationship has more to do with what money means to each partner. Endeavor to discuss your budgets, savings, and spending habits. Properly settling any money issue will help to avoid a lot of possible money conflicts later. Also, talking about a new project or boss at work helps both of you understand what your lives are like when apart.
Discussing family ties help both of you understand what type of relationship you have with your family members. Discuss what you like or dislike about your families and how to replicate or avoid such. This should also involve talk about children. This is important as they tend to have an impact on your relationship satisfaction.
11. Plans and Ambitions
A healthy relationship involves couples sharing their dreams. Discuss any goals you have set for yourself with your partner. Also, what are your shared goals as a couple? The time and effort put into planning or trying something together as a couple helps to keep both of you closer.
12. Fears and Insecurities
Share your fears, shortcomings, and insecurities with your partner. This can help make the situation a lot more tolerable. Learn to admit when you make mistakes. Tell them what your worries are as a problem shared is a problem half solved. When you reveal your struggles and weaknesses, you are giving your partner the courage to do same. They’ll become more at peace with you and more likely to respond by expressing a desire to be there for you. Vulnerability with your partner is OK and at least it helps you to be understood.
This is a very important component of communicating in a healthy relationship. Be open to talk about your feelings with your partner. If you have something in your mind you want to tell them, don’t hold it back. Do you feel neglected, angry, hurt, or disappointed? Open up and share it with your partner.
Remember that the more substantive couple conversation topics you have with your partner, the better. This has the power to bring both of you closer and make you happier as a couple. So, go and have some more intellectual conversations.