Last modified on October 20th, 2020
His Secret Obsession is a dating guide that echoes the fact that a lot of women are having difficulty finding a man to love and settle down with. For most of these women, His Secret Obsession claims that the problem is that they don’t know how to attract a man and keep him committed to them.
This is perhaps the most popular dating guide online that claims to help women solve this nagging relationship problem.
Men are somewhat complex beings. Learning how to relate to a man’s needs and deepest desires can be a great way for a woman to keep her man’s interest in her high and unswerving.
James Bauer claims in his book that the tips and strategies he provides will help any lady make her man to make a long-term commitment to her.
In this His Secret Obsession review, we take a detailed look at what the book really has to offer. Our goal is to see if the book can really help you achieve what it claims.
At the end, we hope you’ll be able to make an informed decision about whether it is right for you or not. Happy reading!
About His Secret Obsession
His Secret Obsession is a dating guide that aims to help you better understand the way a man thinks.
His Secret Obsession claims to provide highly effective secrets that you can use to make your man obsessed with you. A man’s obsession being that intense feeling that induces him to desire something or someone – in this case you!
The book describes and concisely presents a lot of highly effective tips and strategies. This helps to make the book a lot easier to read, understand, and to put into practice.
His Secret Obsession is a refreshingly new, bold, and unique attempt to tackle some of the serious issues facing women and their relationships with men. Some of these issues the book tackles include:
- The reasons why men so often lose interest in women they were initially very attracted to.
- Why men become reluctant in making long-term relationship commitment despite strong signs of seriousness at the beginning.
- The reason why men suddenly withdraw from a relationship and stop communicating with their women.
His Secret Obsession highlights several behaviors and things you can do that will greatly improve your relationship. The goal is to make your man more attracted to you and making him love you the more by “fulfilling” his fantasies.
From early dating to marriage, the book provides highly comprehensive and actionable tips and strategies. Any woman can use these tips and strategies to successfully attract and keep a man devoted to her.
His Secret Obsession
Who is the Author?
James Bauer, a renown author and relationship coach, is the author of His Secret Obsession. Mr. James trained as a psychologist but later decided to become a relationship coach.
The author has spent over twelve (12) years helping thousands of men and women build new relationships and revive ailing ones. He is also the author of another bestselling relationship guide, What Men Secretly Want.
In the course of his work, James Bauer has tenaciously studied the differences in the psychology of how men and women think and behave. As a result, understanding the intricacies of how the brains of men and women differ was the singular rallying point of his work.
From studying his clients and their problems, James discovered the reasons why men refuse to commit to or move forward in a relationship. He found that the reasons were rather common than being specific to particular relationships.
Through this understanding and his personal experiences, James discovered certain fundamental secrets.
James Bauer believes that an understanding of these fundamental secrets is capable of helping individuals develop fulfilling, long-term loving relationships.
Consequently, James Bauer decided to put together a comprehensive dating guide. The aim of this guide is to specifically help women speak the “language” that attracts and keeps a man.
In his book, James claims that once a woman understands the complex primal desires of men, she can get a man to fully commit to her more easily.
This understanding is the principal driving point behind his book, His Secret Obsession.
The Hero Instinct
James Bauer’s overriding proposition in His Secret Obsession is that certain instinctive needs drive men. Yet, this is despite the fact that the average man may not be consciously aware of these needs.
This idea of men’s instinctive needs is what James calls “The Hero Instinct” in His Secret Obsession. According to James, understanding and properly applying this basic principle can empower any woman to attract and keep the man of her desires.
Why? James claims that a man will naturally feel an attraction for any woman who is able to make him fulfil this natural instinct.
What Exactly is the Hero Instinct About?
We can all relate to how important it is to feel that one is living a meaningful life. Everyone wants to be able to dedicate their life to the things and people they care deeply about.
While this is important for both men and women, it’s however a naturally stronger drive for men. Also, while sounding simplistic, it is this basic principle that drives every man’s dream and purpose in life.
In every man is a highly compelling need to provide for his family and those he cares about. Likewise, every man wants to live a meaningful life and have his peers respect him.
Thus, the “Hero Instinct” basically states that all men have three (3) fundamental things which drives them, which are:
- The compelling need to live a meaningful life and feel appreciated for his efforts
- To be able to provide for the ones he cares about. This includes his family, friends, and romantic partner.
- Feel respected by his friends, family, and colleagues.
Overall, all a man truly desires is to be a hero in the life of those he cares about. This is even more important when it has to do with the woman in his life. His only desire is to be her hero – her Prince Charming in shining armor.
In His Secret Obsession, James Bauer took this basic concept a bit further by applying it to dating and relationships.
Origin and Effect of the Hero Instinct
From James Bauer’s perspective, men are actually pretty simplistic. Thus, he insists that the one driving force every man has is the need to feel like a hero.
Thus, the Hero Instinct basically describes the primordial desire men have to be heroes. He argues that this drive is biologically programmed into every man.
As a result, a man has a natural tendency to seek out a relationship in which he can step up to the plate and fulfil his woman’s needs.
Most of James’s arguments are somewhat very fundamental. When you look at it, a man’s general psyche actually feeds off on things like ego. And a man wants to protect his ego at virtually any cost.
And in His Secret Obsession, James shows you how you can achieve this laudable objective as a woman. In return, you get a man who becomes attracted and totally devoted to you and your relationship.
In fact, this is what the book is all about. The emphasis is that if you can leverage on this understanding, you’ll develop the power to attract and keep any man you desire.
By making simple tweaks here and there, you can effectively use your man’s hero instinct to deeply transform the love in your relationship.
His Secret Obsession
Relevance of the Hero Instinct Today!
The central theme of the book is that men have a primal hero instinct to be providers and protectors. But do women truly still need a hero to take care of them in today’s world?
With all the political correctness dominating society today, it may appear that society has evolved way past such crude gender stereotypes.
But has the world really gone past the “primal instinct” stuff? This appears to be very far from the truth.
What James Bauer is essentially driving at is that the biology of men has not changed. And it cannot change!
Men are still men and still want to feel like heroes, even today. All a man wants is to be the hero of his very own movie.
Just like their forefathers before them, men are still driven by the same instincts they’ve always been driven by. Thus, the hero instinct is still very much the driving factor for men in their romantic relationships.
Today, men still want women to desire them. They want women to need them. Always have, always will. This is just evolutionary psychology at work!
How to Awaken the Hero Instinct!
Many relationships begin very well but sadly end abruptly without showing any signs of serious problems. According to James Bauer, this is often because of the lack of stimulation of the “Hero Instinct” in the men.
James argues that a woman needs to fully understand how the Hero Instinct works and how to keep it alive. He says this is the secret any lady needs to make her man stick around in her life.
His Secret Obsession goes further to provide step-by-step simple, actionable strategies that will awaken the hero in any man.
The overall idea of the Hero Instinct is that a man wants to feel needed, appreciated, and respected.
To make your man feel wanted, you’ll need to develop the skills to show him different ways to please you.
This is not suggesting that you shouldn’t please him or pay attention to his needs. The idea is for you to always prioritize your needs.
James advices that you should take pleasure in your man’s masculine company. You should help your man whenever the opportunity avails itself and more importantly to respect him at all times.
James Bauer repeatedly emphasizes that being a hero is a major obsession in all men. Also, he asserts that men have a compelling desire to make a difference in the life of their women.
Yet, James points out that it’s your duty as a woman to give him the chance to do that.
You’ll be able to achieve all these with His Secret Obsession without trying to change who your man is.
His Secret Obsession is not about changing your man to become what you want him to be. The goal is for you to understand who your man is and using that knowledge to improve your relationship.
Organization of His Secret Obsession
The book has over 200 pages and has two major parts. The two parts contain a total of seventeen (17) modules.
The first part of His Secret Obsession deals with the concept of the “Hero Instinct” in men. This is the main concept that the book argues you need to understand very well in order to attract a man and keep him committed to you for the long haul.
The second part is essentially in the form of a workbook. It’s all about helping you apply the various concepts and techniques in the book to your relationship. Below is a highlight of the two major parts of the book:
Part 1: The Hero Instinct
James Bauer dedicates a whole section of the book to discuss the concept of the “hero instinct.” James Bauer actually calls this concept a magical evolutionary psychological secret.
Additionally, this part of His Secret Obsession is divided into eleven modules. These modules discuss all you need to know about your man’s Hero Instinct and how it affects him.
For some people, this amount of material on a single concept might seem daunting. However, the benefits of what you can glean from it about how your man thinks are well worth the effort.
Also, James Bauer does a great job of simplifying this complex concept and other topics into clear, concise language.
Dedicating such a large chunk of the book to this concept shows the importance James places on understanding the concept.
This probably reveals why he argues that the Hero Instinct concept is the biggest evolutionary psychological secret for attracting and keeping a man in love with you.
Below is a list of the 11 modules that make up the first part of His Secret Obsession.
- The Secret Longing of Every Man
- The Unspoken Desire He’ll Never Admit
- Make Him See the Light
- The Fascination Trigger
- Why Men Say, “I’m just not ready”
- How Your Desires Can Fascinate Him
- The Secret Currency of Happy Relationships
- Rocket Fuel: How to Build Relationship Momentum Fast
- How To Become His Obsession
- Get Deeper Intimacy by Revealing More
- Three Things That Can Go Wrong (and how to fix them)
Part 2: The 12-Word Secret Signal
The second part of the book contains a lot of easily actionable tips and strategies. It consists of a total of six (6) modules.
The discussions in this part of the book mostly have to with how you can apply the theories and concepts discussed in the first part of the book.
Likewise, this part deals with the application of what James Bauer calls the Secret Signals. These are signals you can use to make your man become obsessed with you.
For instance, this part reveals the exact “types of phrases” you can use on your man to create attraction and commitment.
Also, it discusses the “types of text messages” that you can send and small requests you can make. Applying both of these strategies will help you trigger the hero instinct in your man.
Below is a list of the six (6) modules in this part:
- The Private Island
- X-ray Question
- The Glimpse Phrase
- The Secret Currency of Happy Relationships
- The ‘I Owe You’
- The Damsel in Distress
The Secret Signals
In the second part of His Secret Obsession, James introduces you to what he calls the “Secret Signals.” These are basically unique sets of communication methods that you can use to improve communication with your man.
The creation of these Secret Signals is to empower you to change the way you communicate with your man. They allow you to better control how you reach out to your man.
Communicating with these Secret Signals improves your ability to create more opportunities for open and honest interactions.
The Secret Signals essentially tap into the psyche of a man to stimulate his Hero Instinct.
James Bauer emphasizes that these Secret Signals can be learned, practiced, and applied. They’ll help you ensure that your words and intentions matches up, and that your intentions are clear to your man.
Thus, His Secret Obsession gives you the exact actions, words, and phrases you need to get the best results.
Highpoints of the Secret Signals
The Secret Signals are communication techniques created by James Bauer to help you communicate better with your man. Below is a brief highlight of some of the Secret Signals:
The Glimpse Phrase
The intention of this Secret Signal is to give a man a “glimpse” at your real personality. It gives him a peek into the possible future he could have with you.
This signal shows you how to make yourself mysterious to a man and make him want to find out more about you. It’s basically an opening signal to create interest, stimulate a man’s fantasies, and whet his appetite for more.
The Fascination Signal
There is the need for the element of fascination for any relationship to kick off and thrive. In His Secret Obsession, James calls the “Fascination Signal” an innocent phrase that makes a man emotionally addicted to you.
This signal elicits deep attraction in a man and makes him need – not just want – you. In this section, you’ll discover a very brilliant way to make a man become fascinated with you.
The Damsel in Distress Signal
This signal taps into the primal instinct of every man to protect. The proper use of this signal is one of the best ways to get your man’s total attention. Thus, you can easily make your man become a better listener and communicator.
You can use the power of your femininity through the Damsel in Distress Signal to make your man instantly switch into a “protect and serve” mode.
The Ex-Back Signal
Using this signal creates an irresistible urge in a man, developing a strong longing for you within him. This is a great way to get back what was lost and to regain a man’s trust and affection.
The signal is particularly useful when a man has given up on a relationship. It can be used to effectively make the relationship seem like it’s the initial exciting stages of dating.
Who is His Secret Obsession for?
This is a book for any woman who wants to learn more about male psychology. It’s a great read especially if you’re in the dating pool as you’ll get astonishing insights into how men think.
Besides that, you need to give this book serious consideration if you’re experiencing any of the following in your relationship.
- Your man is starting to lose interest in you
- More often than not, your guy prioritizes other things ahead of spending time with you
- The fear of your man slipping away from you keeps unnerving you
- Your man is no longer texting or calling you as often as like before
- You feel your man has suddenly grown distant, cold, and now often gets temperamental
- Your man no longer acts romantic towards you like before
- Most times your man leaves you out when he talks about his future plans
- Though you have left him, you can’t seem to get him out of your mind
Manipulations and Mind Games
Unlike many other relationship guides that too often sound cliché, His Secret Obsession reads like nothing you’ve come across before.
It offers a unique understanding into how the mind of a man works. The icing on the cake is about how you can use this knowledge to positively transform the relationship with your man.
One of the best things about His Secret Obsession is that the book isn’t based on mind games. The book doesn’t make use of manipulations in achieving its results.
Thus, you don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not.
Instead, His Secret Obsession teaches you how to sincerely show your man what you need. It shows you how to let your man step up to the plate and fulfil your needs.
The tips and strategies in His Secret Obsession makes it easy for you to fulfil your man’s need for meaning, respect, and also of being a provider.
Using these strategies will make your man to “naturally” feel better about himself. He’ll come to view you in a whole new light and appreciate you a lot better.
This has the increased tendency of making the relationship with your man stronger, more fulfilling, and longer lasting.
Why You Should Seriously Consider His Secret Obsession
- If you’ve tried every trick to solve your relationship problems and nothing seems to be working, then you might want to give His Secret Obsession a try.
- You’re in a marriage, but unfortunately it appears your husband’s feelings are virtually non-exist or present
- James Bauer’s His Secret Obsession dating guide will equip you with the requisite skills to revive your ailing relationship.
- Using proven tips and strategies from trustworthy resources like His Secret Obsession is the best way to improve your relationship. Your relationship is far too important for you to be using random and untrustworthy advice.
- To get the man of your dreams attracted and committed to you, you need to stop following your emotions blindly. It’s high time you get instilled with the requisite knowledge and strategies to apply.
His Secret Obsession is available for purchase for just $47. It’s available as a secure and encrypted digital download. This means you save on the cost of shipping and handling.
James Bauer also offers a 60-Day, 100% Money Back Guarantee in case you’re not satisfied.
Pros and Cons of His Secret Obsession
Without a doubt, there are lots of positive points about His Secret Obsession. However, just like every other book, there are some few issues you need to be aware of.
- His Secret Obsession is a highly insightful and comprehensive dating guide that’s clear and very easy to read and understand.
- It makes use of a lot of real life examples. The guide also provides many practical advice including exact phrases, text messages, and small requests you can easily implement.
- The theories and general concepts used in His Secret Obsession are backed by sound and relevant scientific studies.
- Engaging, concise, simplified, and easy to follow writing style.
- It’s easily accessible since it’s an electronic download in the form of a PDF and audiobook.
- James Bauer offers a 60-Day Money Back Guarantee so there’s no risk involved with your purchase.
- Only available as an e-Book and audiobook with no paperback version.
- Some people might be put off by the $47 price tag for a digital product.
- For some, the author’s writing style might feel patronizing.
- Contains more information than you’ll ever need.
Although His Secret Obsession is based largely on concepts revolving around male psychology, it’s yet a highly comprehensive and easy to read dating guide.
His Secret Obsession uniquely applies evolutionary psychology to the way men approach their romantic relationships. This is actually a unique perspective on the male psyche and relationship that you won’t find elsewhere.
The book comes with a lot of engaging and practical examples. If nothing else, you’re bound to come across new ideas, tips and strategies you won’t also easily find elsewhere.
James Bauer never pretends to be a “dating guru” but has done a marvelous job of uncovering realistic facts about men’s psychology in His Secret Obsession.
The overriding idea of His Secret Obsession is that if you want to truly attract and keep the man of your desires, then you must understand how your man thinks.
James Bauer maintains that your current dating strategies need to be modified to incorporate the Hero Instinct concept as discussed in His Secret Obsession.
He also emphasizes that you must be ready to delve into the mind of your man and see things from his perspective.
Having this knowledge of what he thinks about and likes, gives you an awesome amount of power. A power that creates highly irresistible attraction and makes your man become obsessed with you!
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