Learning to Forgive a Cheating Spouse

Learning to Forgive a Cheating Spouse

Every relationship has its ups and downs however one of the most defining moments in a relationship can result from one of the partners becoming unfaithful. Infidelity has the power to break and mar almost any relationship and survival mostly depends on the depth of commitment of the aggrieved partner.

If your partner has had an affair it can threaten the success of your relationship and the pain can often be devastating and sometimes unbearable. How be it, if you are willing and ready to forgive and forget, there is every chance of the relationship flourishing again. Nonetheless, no matter how committed you might be to the relationship, forgiving a cheating spouse is not instant, never easy and requires serious effort.

To forgive a cheating spouse and bring back the trust that was once in the relationship will take time but definitely the wounds can heal. Let’s be sincere, you’ve in the past probably forgiven people who might have done things close to or more hurtful than what you’re going through now – you can forgive again. Really you can.

The damage done by a cheating spouse is never easily forgotten and a repeat of it might complicate things to the extent of you wanting to leave the relationship.

However, if your partner is penitent, willing to change and is asking for a second chance, the following tips might be of help in no small measure to help you heal faster and make it easier to forgive your cheating spouse.

Re-Evaluate Your Relationship

Is this incident worth losing your relationship over? Definitely there must be some good things you cherish about this relationship to have stayed in it before the unfaithful act.

It is equally necessary for you to take stock of possible actions on your part or external events that might have contributed to the affair. You have to try and undercover what might have gone wrong in the relationship for such an affair to have taken place.

Despite the reality that you aren’t the one that was unfaithful, forgiving him/her enables you to forgive yourself for any sense of guilt you could be experiencing because of not having noticed warning signs of the affair to begin with. Forgiving your spouse helps you just as before give your best in the relationship thus safeguarding your relationship against any possible reoccurrence of such an affair.

Free Yourself from Bitterness and Anger

This is certainly what you feel most at such a time. It’s natural to feel the hurt and devastation it brings but you must let the hurt go. It will be difficult no doubt but you have to try and let go of the bitterness, anger and resentment that might be building up inside you.

Avoid the Blame-Game

Blaming your partner does not solve anything and you’ll probably never be able to forgive a cheating spouse by wasting time and effort on the unproductive actions such as blame. Let the past be in the past, live for today and your future together as happy couples.

Avoid Recounting of the Incident

While you might finally be able to forgive your spouse, some internal or external incidences might make the whole affair flash back again. This can be a very difficult time and you will do well to not bring up the issue. It simply does neither of you any good.

Seek Compassionate Support or Professional Advice

Work is required to rebuild trust and matured advice and support from compassionate friends and family members can be of tremendous help. You can also go for professional relationship advice and counseling to help you determine what really matters most to you as you try to forgive your cheating spouse.

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