Long Distance Relationships

On a general note, relationships are often difficult to maintain even when the partners live in the same town and even when in the same house. Given this scenario, it becomes even more difficult when distance separate the partners. This distance may be because of one of the partners leaving far away for college, taking up a better job opportunity in another town, state or country, or going an expedition, etc.

Research suggests that long distance relationships do not break up at any greater rate than traditional, geographically close ones. In addition, several studies have discovered that the levels of relationship satisfaction, intimacy, trust, and commitment of long distance relationship partners are identical to those of their geographically close counterparts. However, they might worry more about infidelity, but they do not actually cheat more.

It is also an obvious fact that long distance relationships are much easier when you have known the other person for quite some time before the separation by distance. Those that have spent some months or years in a committed relationship will do fairly better in a long distance relationship as they already have a foundation on which to continue building on as against a new couple starting out afresh.

Long distance relationships are definitely on the rise but that does not mean they are for everyone. For those who really want it to work and are determined to find out where it can lead, developing a few disciplines and adding some creativity like the few listed below into this type of relationship can make all the difference.

Clarify Expectations

What are your expectations in this relationship and what rules do you have in place to guide you to seeing them accomplished. Do not just hope all things will work out right, have goals and a timeframe for their accomplishment. This will give the relationship a hope to live on. Do not push this aside; it is important you have a good plan of where you are both heading with this relationship.


This is the most important ingredient to make a long distance relationship work. The biggest issue with non-face-to-face communication is the lack of facial expression. This makes it so easy for words to be misinterpreted but unfortunately much harder to trust and stay positive. Since both of you are practically miles apart and apparently leading separate lives, without this element of trust, there is no chance whatsoever of the relationship surviving the turmoil in this kind of relationship.

Be Interested

There must be a sense of true interest in one another. There must be a deep-seated emotional connection between both of you and this is whether you have been together before you separated or you met through some other means like online dating services, email, or online chat rooms. It is not just about the physical attraction, this interest must transcend the ordinary, as it is the foundation of this relationship.

  • Make Advance Plans on Regular Visitations

    Depending on the distance between you, it is advisable to discuss and plan on how often you intend to see each other. For this visit include activities like visiting towns where your partner is in, spending the weekend in fancy hotels, and general activities that will help make the meeting memorable.

    Set Ground Rules

    There are bound to be differences of opinion and you should anticipate changes in the course of the relationship. It is important you talk through these anticipated challenges and set ground rules for dealing with them from onset of the relationship. When you have these rules in place, it becomes easier to handle these challenges when they arise than when you leave them up to chance.

    These rules may includes things such as “no flirting while apart”, calling or emailing at least once a day or as deem fit by both parties, setting a time to see each other may be once in every one or two months etc. They may not seem necessary and too obvious but it is essential that you both have these agreed upon mutually.

    Be Open and Express Yourself Always

    While sharing the day-to-day events of things going on in each other lives, try talking about mundane, ordinary happenings, which will help in creating an air of normalcy in the relationship. Chip in details about an appointment you had with a new client, a new route you took to work today because of the traffic, and trivial things such as the turkey sandwich you had for lunch and probably how wonderful they cook at a new restaurant two blocks away from your Aunt Maureen’s place.

    Maureen’s place.

    Send a Handwritten Letter

    It is often easier to write more about how one feels than it is to say it most of the time, so occasionally write an extensive and intimate letter to your partner. Write about your inner state, what you are feeling, what you dream about most, a new inspiration or idea you just got, new or interesting poetry just for him or her or other things going on in your life that you feel like sharing.

    To be more romantic, you could use a snail mail service to send your writings to your partner and include articles or local stories in the dailies that might be of particular interest to him or her. The beauty of seeing a mail in your mailbox from your loved is just exhilarating, as we have taken emails for granted these days.

    Be Committed

    Do not go into a long distance relationship if you are not willing to commit to it fully and save yourself the frustration, anger, and pain. The hard truth is that there is no point enduring a long distance relationship if you do not mean it, if you are not fully committed to seeing it succeed.

  • Enjoy Your Independence

    Being apart from your partner should enable you to grow as an individual while feeling and still remaining committed in a relationship. While you may see yourself as “attached” to your significant other, the distance provides room for you to grow and not lose your own identity. The happier you act with your life, the happier you will actually feel.

    Continue going about your daily routine and stay busy. Enjoy your time alone and take up activity that will help make the days go fast and thus not having any time to mope.

    Be Positive and Have Faith

    Bring an air positive thinking into the relationship and focus on the positive aspects of it having faith and confidence in the survival of the relationship. Never make unnecessary assumptions without clarifying from your partner. If you have doubts about any issue do not interpret too much into it, instead call his/her attention to it and clear the air over such an issue.