Men and women have different view about love and sex. Generally, it is believed that women consistently seem to associate love with sex. O the hand, men find it easier to have sexual intercourse for pleasure and physical release, without any emotional commitment.Although sex is not everything in a relationship, it’s a big part of it. Good sex generally plays a big part in starting and maintaining a relationship, a point which cannot be overemphasized.Sexuality is rarely understood for what it truly is – an innate and healthy part of being alive and being human. Sexuality plays an important role in the intricacies of “being in love”. However, sexual experiences can occur without love, and without one necessarily being in love. Love on its own equally includes other things beside sexual activity.There is a need for gender consideration on the issue of love and sex as cultures often determine what an individual considers to be sex or love and how the two relate. For example, females are often taught that in order to have sex, one must need to be in love.However, both men and women proclaim that they value love and affection in sexual relationships. Both view lovemaking as the deepest form of sharing between two people because of the emotional bond that takes place when two people are intimate with each other. In fact, when women get disappointment with their partner’s lack of sexual intimacy and they are left unfulfilled in their sexual encounters with their partner; they develop the notion that their bodies have been used solely for the man’s temporary physical satisfaction.Though there may be some element of truth to the statement that men are more easily aroused than women and that most men engage in sexual activity mostly for pleasure and physical release, it does not however mean that the sex in the relationship is the main reason men get involve in relationships. This would be grossly untrue. It is therefore necessary not to assume that this is necessarily what happens with the consciousness of males.
Though there may be those who have first felt mere sexual appetite for a woman and then gone on at a later stage to “fall in love with her”, this is however not all that common. Rather what often comes first is simply a delighted pre-occupation with the object of his affection, a general unspecified pre-occupation with her in her totality.A man in this state rarely has leisure to think of sex but is rather too busy thinking of a person. The fact that she is a female is far less important than the fact that she is herself. The personality is the main object of a man in love. He is full of desire, but the desire most often is never sexually toned. If asked at this point what a man really wanted, the true reply would often be, “to go on thinking of her”.However, when at a later stage the explicitly sexual element awakes, he will not feel that this had all along been the root of the whole matter. Love enters him like an invader, taking over and reorganizing, one by one, the facets of his life. It may take some time before it reaches the sex in him but it will ultimately reorganize that too when it does get there.The sexual desire aspect of love is intricately woven into the fabric of humans – both men and women. A man that is in love has almost everything focused on his beloved – a part of him that is outside of him – in the real world. That is why, love – though the king of pleasures – always has the air of regarding pleasure as a by-product. For one of the first things that love does is to obliterate the distinction between who is giving and receiving pleasure.In some mysterious but quite indisputable fashion, a man desires his beloved and not the pleasure she can give. No true lover in the world ever sought the embraces of the woman he loved as the result of a calculation, however unconscious, that she would be more pleasurable than any other woman.It is important to understand that a man’s desire for sex doesn’t start in his genitals but begins in his mind – the center of all eroticism. However, at time goes by, sexual experiences substantially redefine the nature of that link. The initial giving of pleasure to his partner may start to diminish gradually when a man’s locus of sex becomes singularly associated with the goal of erection and orgasm. At such point of loosing focus of what pleasurable sex should be is when a man’s main goal for engaging in sexual intercourse becomes to experience pleasure and physical release. Deep emotional commitments then are not always part of his sexual activities. Pleasure with time becomes all but a legitimate goal for sexual activities. However this does not go to say that he does not love and care for his partner; the sexual intimacy just isn’t what it used to be.Women have strong physical ties to sexuality but do not have sex like men. For women, however, sex is viewed as a purposeful activity that not only leads to motherhood but also serves as a source of arousing and pleasurable experience. Love and emotional commitment for a woman are necessary factors intertwined with sex. While women can also be aroused by visual stimuli, they tend to need more kinaesthetic ones – such as stroking, kissing, and cuddling – to get aroused for sex.However, for men desire and arousal are virtually one and the same. But for women, intimacy, affection, trust, humor, respect and security are among components that they require in arousing their desire for sexual intimacy. While men also appreciate these qualities, they do not necessarily need them to get turned on for sex.Consequently, while love may not necessarily be an ingredient for sexual relation and satisfaction, women to a larger degree, need the love and deep emotional commitment from their partners as they take longer to become aroused and achieve orgasm. Men should redefine their focus about sex realizing the differences between the sexuality of both sexes – women need more of attention, foreplay, and extra time to enjoy good and pleasurable sex.
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